Threnody – Prologue

April 6, 2010 at 12:46 pm (Threnody: Closest to Heaven)


They tell me I chose this. They’ve shown me the papers that ‘I’ signed. How do I explain to them that it means nothing to me, since I remember neither the signature nor the name on that certificate of consent? They tell me it’s my name.

They’ve shown me my records of achievement – I was quite a success story, academically and professionally. I wonder why the hell someone like that, an obvious high-flyer, would choose this. I guess there really are people this ungrateful.

They tell me I asked for all personal writing or work to be destroyed while I had the operation. I can appreciate the logic behind this, at least – if I had sufficient reason to request to become what I am now, leaving evidence lying about would simply make the whole process useless. I appreciate the sense behind this precaution… but right now, it’s yet another thing that leaves me floating.

I don’t feel as if there are things I should remember but can’t. I just feel… empty. It’s so very peaceful inside me.


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